So Not Size Ten
by hope for eternity
Summary: Short multi-chap. 'Why can't you just let me wear my jeans and stuff? At least they don't show that I'm fat.' Hurt/Comfort. Reviews are love! Hiatus! I know, I'm sorry.
1. Chapter 1

Her fingers ached as she tried to pull up the zip at the side of the skirt. Hot tears rushed to her eyes as, realizing it was no use, she concluded that she simply wasn't skinny enough for a size ten.

She was thirteen years old, and she wasn't skinny enough to wear a size ten.

What was wrong with her?

"Sonny?" Hearing her mom's voice, she tried to wipe her tears before anyone could see. "Come on, let me see how it looks!"

Swallowing, she tried to explain herself out of humiliation.

"It... um, doesn't fit!" She called back, hoping her voice wouldn't crack. It didn't, to her relief.

"Aw, come on! Just let me see!" Sonny puffed out a breath, and let the top of the skirt slide up to her waist, and the zip slid easily into place. Rolling her top up slightly, she came out of the changing room.

"Whoa. That's a bit short." Anger shot through Sonny.

"_Really_, Mom? I hadn't noticed." Her mother looked her over, raising her eyebrows.

"Sonny, you have this pulled up way too high! No wonder its so short, you have it pulled up to your _waist_! It's supposed to be at your hips, honey." Sonny flinched as her mother attempted to pull it down. She wriggled out of Connie's grasp.

"Mom, leave it, okay? Just accept the fact that I'm not skinny enough to fit a size ten!"

"I can see that, dear." Her mother said dryly. "We'll just need a bigger size, that's all." Sonny glanced down at the colourful skirt that had seemed so gorgeous on the rack. It was a mixture of black, blue and orange, with an orange jumper.

It didn't seem so pretty now.

"Never mind, Mum. It'll look ridiculous either way! Come on, I mean, _look_ at it." Her mother drew back, looking like she'd been slapped.

"Maybe what I need to accept is that my taste just isn't good enough for my daughter anymore." She snapped at Sonny. "What do you actually want, Hollister?"

Sonny bit her lip as fresh tears came to her eyes. She hated the designer clothes; she'd been in the shop with her friends the other day, and she had _heard_ what the employee had said under his breath about her.

She'd sworn off skimpy designer clothes for about the rest of her life after that.

"It doesn't matter, Mom. Why can't you just let me wear my jeans and stuff? At least they don't show that I'm _fat_."

"Sonny Munroe, don't be ridiculous! You're a beautiful young lady."

"Yeah, tell that to the size nothings in school." She whispered, but not loud enough for Connie to hear. "Just let it go, okay? I don't want to be shaped and forced into being some girly-girl. I'm fine how I am, okay?" She stormed back into the changing room.

Bitterness made its way up her throat, and she kicked out at the discarded skirt.

"_Stupid_." She muttered.

She swore, she was going off food forever. Or at least until she was a size nothing. At least.

**A/N Ugh. Yes, teenage angst. I felt like writing some of this, cos it doesn't fit in DIKY. Like, at all.**

**Anyways, please review! Don't be sad, I'll update it in a few minutes. It didn't exactly take long to write. The second part... will be fluffy!**

**Reviews are love!**

**Hannah x**


	2. Chapter 2

Sonny stared at her stomach in the mirror, horror-struck. The small roll of fat on her stomach seemed more obvious now than ever- when had she gotten so huge? She smoothed her t-shit carefully, but her tummy just seemed to stick out even more.

"Sonny!" Connie called through the door. "Dinner!"

With great reluctance and dragging footsteps, Sonny walked slowly towards the dining room. Her stomach twisted with hunger at the sight of a steaming plate of food, but her throat tightened with nausea as she thought of the 'huge' amount of fat on her abdomen. She sat warily.

Her mother said the grace, and turned to her daughter.

"So, honey, how are you?" She asked, smiling. Sonny forced a half-hearted smile.

"Fine." She mumbled. Connie raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Sonny pushed the food around her plate, then finally picked up the bravery to put some on her fork. She shoved the food in her mouth, and fought to cover the gagging that followed.

"You okay, sweetie?" Connie asked in alarm. Sonny coughed, hitting her chest in an attempt to clear her airway.

"Yeah... I just- I-"

"Food went down the wrong way?" Connie smiled.

"Yeah." Sonny replied, grabbing the lie gratefully. Connie shook her head, laughing slightly, and poured them both a glass of juice.

"Water, please." Her daughter said croakily, shaking her head. Connie stared at her, but got her plain water, even though she'd claimed to hate it just last week. They ate in silence for a few minutes, and she pretended not to notice that Sonny's plate still seemed full.

"Well, sweetheart, I have to see your grandma. Be good and get your homework done, alright?" Sonny nodded mutely. She listened as the front door slammed, then leapt to her feet, plate in hand. Without letting herself hesitate, she scraped the food into the bin.

**~*S~*N~*S~*T~***

After a week, Sonny hadn't eaten.

Oh, she'd done a good job of pretending she had. She'd been very creative.

But very little food had made it to her stomach. And that that had, she'd thrown up, intentionally. Some strange panic was taking over her body, and she couldn't make herself eat.

And now she was so _hungry_.

Her mother was out of the house. It was just the two of them usually. Sonny put a tentative hand on her growling stomach. Without her permission, her feet brought her to the kitchen. She stared, with blank eyes, at the biscuit tin, which she knew to contain huge packets of biscuits, and more importantly, chocolate bars, cakes and cupcakes. Slowly, she lifted the tin, and set it on the table. She noticed her hands shaking as (against her will, she swore) she opened it. The lid fell on the table with a clatter. Her hand reached out slowly and she took a cupcake.

She devoured the food, surprising herself with the viciousness with which she accomplished it. She finished the cake in a matter of seconds, then reached for another.

Then another. And another.

When the cupcakes were done, she started on the chocolate bars. And then the biscuits- cookies, digestives, cereal bars, and who knows what else. She didn't care, she didn't _care_.

She couldn't choke it all down fast enough.

When the tin was empty, she stopped, freezing up, staring at the destroyed wrappers and sprays of crumbs all around her, stuck to her face and hands and even in her hair.

She was numb for about two seconds.

Then she felt the shame.

It was so strong, it shook her. It broke her. She was disgusted with herself. She'd never felt so despicable in her life.

With shaking hands, she poured herself a glass of milk, hating the calories.

But knowing it would help her throw up.

**~*S~*N~*S~*T~***

Sonny sat at the table with her mother, a smile on her face.

Her stomach hurt. Her throat ached from retching and vomiting.

But there was a smile on her face. Fake, of course. But it was there.

**~*S~*N~*S~*T~***

Sonny stepped out of the shower, and towelled her hair dry carefully. She, as usual in the past week and a half, ignored the fact that her hands were shaking. Shoving the now soaked towel over the radiator, she stepped on the scales. She closed her eyes and prayed quietly as she waited for the small _beep_ to tell her that she could see her weight.

_Beep_.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and she looked down, hoping, praying-

Her heart plummeted.

She'd gained three pounds.

Anger and revulsion exploded in her stomach, so violent that her head started spinning. All that, all that _throwing up, not eating_... for NOTHING.

Sonny took a deep breath, and slammed her fist against the hard wall. It hurt. She smiled, and hit the wall again, and again. Her smile grew when she felt the skin on her knuckles split.

She stopped hitting as suddenly as she'd started, staring at the split skin with horror.

She'd just have to eat less.

**~*S~*N~*S~*T~***

Sonny was lounging on her bed, watching a movie. There was a knock at the door.

"What?" She snapped. Just like with her shaking hands, she refused to notice the correlation between her swinging moods and her refusing to eat.

"There's someone here to see you." Connie called softly through the door. Sonny gave an exaggerated sigh, making sure both her mother and whoever was at the door could hear her.

"Send them in, then." She said boredly. The door swung open, and Sonny paused her DVD. She turned, a scowl on her face.

She froze in shock when she saw who it was.

**A/N Hey guys! Just wanna say a HUGE thank you for your reviews! Your response nearly gave me a heart attack! In a good way, of course :D**

**So in honour of this story's success (I guess?) I've decided to make this a short multi-chapter! The good part is, it will be longer (duh) but the bad news is, as you may have noticed, we haven't quite reached the fluff yet. Awww :(**

**But there will be fluff, I can tell you! I PROMISE!**

**Reviews are love!**

**Hannah x**

**PS Could anyone reading this please pray/wish me luck for a test I have tomorrow? I'm real nervous about it :(**


	3. Chapter 3

Sonny stared in shock at the blonde in front of her.

"Tawni?" She asked, nearly 100% sure she was seeing things.

"Sonny!" The other teen squealed, but didn't move towards her. Underneath the air of surprised delight, there was a definite tension between the two girls. Sonny took a hesitant, shaky step towards her. All the feelings of shame, of disgust overwhelmed her and she threw herself at the startled blonde.

"Wow, shhh, it's... okay?" The blonde girl said unsurely, patting her friend's back gently, if a little awkwardly. The small brunette sniffled, clinging to her. All she wanted was a hug. Some comfort. And even if Tawni had frozen over a little, hadn't seen her for a while, she realized that. So she pushed away the urge to ask why she was being _touched_, as Tammi had hammered into her in the past few months, and hugged her friend.

And Tawni Hart, just turned fourteen, felt something that shouldn't have been there;

Ribs.

The blonde flinched in shock, but managed not to pull her arms away. The brunette obviously needed comfort, as she was still sobbing and clinging to her friend. When her tears let up, Tawni stepped back, surveying her friend. She'd travelled out to LA a year before with her mother, in the hopes of becoming an actress. She'd gotten a few parts in various commercials, and even a guest appearance in a Nickelodeon show. Well, it was actually a one-line cameo, but it would look good on a resume, right? That's what her mom/agent kept telling her anyway.

Sonny was a mess. Her eyes, red and puffy from crying, seemed to have sunk way into her face, and Tawni would have said her tears had smeared mascara under her eyes, except that Sonny didn't wear mascara. The circles under her eyes weren't even purple, they were black. And now that she'd noticed the freaky rib thing, she couldn't _not_ notice the sharp points where bones pushed against her skin; her cheekbones and chin were particularly noticable. Tawni had a feeling if Sonny wasn''t wearing a ridiculously baggy hoodie, her hips would jut out the way her ribs did.

She was wasting away, and Tawni didn't think anybody had noticed.

**A/N So I'm gonna attmept this story again. *cries* I started to write this chapter, like, a week or so the other one was posted and then... I don't know. *hangs head in shame* I don't deserve all the amazing reviews I've gotten...**

**A couple reviews I got, they worried me; if anyone's suffering from an eating disorder, I'm sorry. And I hope this helps.**

**To another couple reviews I've got; no, I don't suffer from bulimia or anything- I made myself throw up once, and never felt any desire to do it again. I'm not a particular fan of my weight (and a burst of that inspired this story) but no, no eating disorders.**

**I hope y'all liked this chapter! I know it's terribly short, but it's an update, right? Plus this means more chapters! And I'll try and update a LOT more quickly this time.**

**Hannah xo**


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